Coach yourself. Is it possible?
A controversial question, here you will find the reason to believe you can
I was living the biggest radical transition in my life. I had left my homeland, my family and friends, and my course at university, to become the professional I dreamt to be since childhood. I had abandoned my safety port and had sailed to unknown shores.
There I was, alone in a foreign strange country, without friends or an acquaintance, without knowing the language or the culture, and no profession or job at all.
Basically, an empty life, with no idea of what to do next, no perspective or even possibilities, no motivation or purpose.
That was me, adrift and aimless when I first bumped into self-coaching.
But what is self-coaching?
For many years, research studies have backed the assumption and coaching philosophy that we can solve our own difficulties better than we think. (Biswas-Diener & Dean, 2007).
In both the professional and personal fields, self-coaching is the practice of guiding our growth and development, particularly during seasons of transition, using your inner power.
Inner power is the quiet force within you that knows when to act and when to move and gives you the strength and motivation to do so.
If we consider the actual situation of pandemics along with the demanding expectations that either we or other people have from ourselves it is almost automatic that we become our own coaches.
How can I do it?
I believe that self-coaching is possible and achievable for everyone, and most importantly it became a necessity.
Of course, there are many ways to get guidelines, advice, and plans from professional coaches, well-known books, and tutorials. But I can only share my personal experience that I gathered while fighting my own battles. And I have to say it is quite practical and simple but it is a real example that self-coaching works even for non-believers. That was my case!
Here are a few steps from the process:
- Clear your mind from all the preoccupations, thoughts, and “must do things” that are stuffing you;
- Define and visualize one or more desired goals;
- Brainstorm your possibilities and means to achieve these goals;
- Draw a practical and clear plan;
- Get into action!
This is only a framework that you can manage and adapt to your own purposes. Also, keep in mind that you need to establish achievable and realistic goals, and preferably set a period of time to achieve them so that you can measure your own victories.
I failed! I derailed! I’m lost! And now what should I do?
Yes, perfectly normal. Whenever we try to take a different course in our lives, especially if it involves a change, it is almost sure that we get stuck or lose course at some point. At least that’s what has been happening to me along my journey!
The human being has in his nature a tendency to offer resistance to change. Once he gets used to staying in his comfort zone he refuses to leave it, even if it means leaving for something better.
It is like the example of starting a new sport activity. The first 2 weeks it’s awesome but then come to the excuses: “Today I’m tired” or “ I have so much going on, I don’t have time” or even your friends and colleagues telling you that is a waste of time.
At this point just stop for a moment and focus!
Remember your goals and how motivated you were when you established them, and especially how powerful you were feeling when you took action and started your plan.
There! That’s the feeling, stick to it and move forward.
Now that you are back on track, keep the strength and the hard work, and remember that there will be another moment when you slip off track, but you already know how to get back on course.
Don’t waste your time with justifications or blaming yourself for this one step that you missed or even listening to other people’s opinions of your own life and dreams.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by Dogma which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.” (Steve Jobs)
The journey is long, and it takes time that’s why it works. The most important thing is to believe in yourself and to be aware of your capabilities.
Don’t get stuck to the social patterns that are created to keep you behind and in the shadows. Choose to make your own path for your life!
All Human beings are different from each other, some adapt themselves easier and smoothy, others need more Guidance.
